सन्ता- यार मेरी बीबी मायके गयी है रोज उसे फोन करना पड़ता है
बन्ता – इसे कहते है प्यार
सन्ता- नही बे बोलके गयी जिस दिन फोन नही आया वापस आ जाउंगी
बन्ता – इसे कहते है प्यार
सन्ता- नही बे बोलके गयी जिस दिन फोन नही आया वापस आ जाउंगी
Saturday, 9 January 2016
Happy new year 2016
! A small reminder !
Don't be so excited about New Year.
Only the calendar will change.
Wife,
Job
and
Targets
will remain the same.
Don't be so excited about New Year.
Only the calendar will change.
Wife,
Job
and
Targets
will remain the same.
Haryanvi education
सगाई खातिर लड़का देखने आये हुए थे। (लड़के के दादा) से पूछने लगे : चौधरी साहब, छोरा कितनी क्लास पढ़ रह्या सै।
दादा: म्हारा छोरा पूरी सौ क्लास पढ़ रहया सै ।
“सौ क्लास ? न्यूं क्यूकर चौधरी?”
“भाई आठ क्लास तै आपणे गाम के स्कूल (Middle School) में पास करी।
फेर बड्डे स्कूल (High School) में दस क्लास (Matric) पास करी।
अठारह क्लास तै हो गई।”
“और बाकी?”
“भाई, बाकी बियासी (B.Sc) उसनै रोहतक जाट कालिज त पढ़ी सै।
👏जय हो हरियाणा की 👏
दादा: म्हारा छोरा पूरी सौ क्लास पढ़ रहया सै ।
“सौ क्लास ? न्यूं क्यूकर चौधरी?”
“भाई आठ क्लास तै आपणे गाम के स्कूल (Middle School) में पास करी।
फेर बड्डे स्कूल (High School) में दस क्लास (Matric) पास करी।
अठारह क्लास तै हो गई।”
“और बाकी?”
“भाई, बाकी बियासी (B.Sc) उसनै रोहतक जाट कालिज त पढ़ी सै।
👏जय हो हरियाणा की 👏
Stunt pilot
Young girl walks into a supermarket and on her way round she sees the bloke with whom she had sex the previous evening, after they met in a pub.
He is stacking washing powder boxes on shelves. "You lying sod!" she yells. "Last night you told me you were a stunt pilot!"
"No," he says, "I told you I was a member of the Ariel display team."
He is stacking washing powder boxes on shelves. "You lying sod!" she yells. "Last night you told me you were a stunt pilot!"
"No," he says, "I told you I was a member of the Ariel display team."
India is one
पूरी दुनियां में भारत ही एक मात्र ऐसा देश हैजहां दीवारों पर लिख के बताया जाता है कि......."दीवार पे लिखना मना है |
18+ Adult only
ADULT MESSAGE
यह मेसेज केवल वयस्क(18+)
व्यक्ति ही पढ़े
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मतदान जरूर करें
यह आपका अधिकार भी है
और कर्तव्य भी
यह मेसेज केवल वयस्क(18+)
व्यक्ति ही पढ़े
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मतदान जरूर करें
यह आपका अधिकार भी है
और कर्तव्य भी
Why risk
Husband & wife went to Jerusalem and the Wife died there.
Priest: "Sending her body home would cost you $10000.... but... burial here at this holy city would cost just $100".
Man:"I'll take the body home!!!"
Priest:"Why the costly option? You must really love your wife a lot"
Man: "Nothing like that Father.. Just that Jesus was buried here and came alive on the 3rd day...
why risk......!!!
Priest: "Sending her body home would cost you $10000.... but... burial here at this holy city would cost just $100".
Man:"I'll take the body home!!!"
Priest:"Why the costly option? You must really love your wife a lot"
Man: "Nothing like that Father.. Just that Jesus was buried here and came alive on the 3rd day...
why risk......!!!
Poor softwares engineer
An ambitious software engineer finally decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life.
At least for a while.
A hurricane came up unexpectedly. The ship went down and was lost instantly. The man found himself swept up on the shores of an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.
Used to five-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do. So, for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice, longed for his old life, and fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship.
One day, as he was lying on the beach, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. It was a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. She rowed up to him.
In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from, and how did you get here?"
"I rowed from the other side of the island ," she said. "I landed here when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," the software engineer said, "I didn't know anyone else had survived. How many of you are there? You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you."
"It's only me," she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up: nothing did."
He was confused, "Then how did you get the rowboat?"
"Oh, simple," replied the woman. "I made it out of raw material that I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum-tree branches, I wove the bottom from palm branches , and the sides and stern came from a eucalyptus tree."
"But, but, that's impossible," stuttered the man. "You had no tools or hardware - how did you manage?"
"Oh, that was no problem," the woman said. "On the south side of the island, there is a very unusual strata of exposed alluvial rock. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that to make tools, and used the tools to make the hardware. But enough of that. Where do you live?"
Sheepishly, the man confessed that he had been sleeping on the beach the whole time.
"Well, let's row over to my place then," she said.
After a few minutes of rowing, she docked the boat at a small wharf. As the man looked onto shore, he nearly fell out of the boat. Before him was a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.
While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck.
As they walked into the house, she said casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like to have a drink?" "No, no, thank you," he said, still dazed. "I couldn't drink another drop of coconut juice." "It's not coconut juice," the woman replied. "I have made a still - How about a Pinacolada ?"
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the software engineer accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk. After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to have a shower and a shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom."
No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom. There in the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow-ground edge were fastened to its tip, inside a swivel mechanism. "This woman is absolutely amazing," he mused. "What next?"
When he returned, the woman greeted him. She beckoned for him to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she began suggestively, slithering closer to him, brushing her leg against his, "We've both been out here for a very long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing to do for all of these months."
She stared into his eyes. He couldn't believe what he was hearing - this was like all of his dreams coming true in one day.
. .
..
.
"You mean...," he replied, "I can check my e-mail from here?"
At least for a while.
A hurricane came up unexpectedly. The ship went down and was lost instantly. The man found himself swept up on the shores of an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.
Used to five-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do. So, for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice, longed for his old life, and fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship.
One day, as he was lying on the beach, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. It was a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. She rowed up to him.
In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from, and how did you get here?"
"I rowed from the other side of the island ," she said. "I landed here when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," the software engineer said, "I didn't know anyone else had survived. How many of you are there? You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you."
"It's only me," she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up: nothing did."
He was confused, "Then how did you get the rowboat?"
"Oh, simple," replied the woman. "I made it out of raw material that I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum-tree branches, I wove the bottom from palm branches , and the sides and stern came from a eucalyptus tree."
"But, but, that's impossible," stuttered the man. "You had no tools or hardware - how did you manage?"
"Oh, that was no problem," the woman said. "On the south side of the island, there is a very unusual strata of exposed alluvial rock. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that to make tools, and used the tools to make the hardware. But enough of that. Where do you live?"
Sheepishly, the man confessed that he had been sleeping on the beach the whole time.
"Well, let's row over to my place then," she said.
After a few minutes of rowing, she docked the boat at a small wharf. As the man looked onto shore, he nearly fell out of the boat. Before him was a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.
While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck.
As they walked into the house, she said casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like to have a drink?" "No, no, thank you," he said, still dazed. "I couldn't drink another drop of coconut juice." "It's not coconut juice," the woman replied. "I have made a still - How about a Pinacolada ?"
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the software engineer accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk. After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to have a shower and a shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom."
No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom. There in the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow-ground edge were fastened to its tip, inside a swivel mechanism. "This woman is absolutely amazing," he mused. "What next?"
When he returned, the woman greeted him. She beckoned for him to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she began suggestively, slithering closer to him, brushing her leg against his, "We've both been out here for a very long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing to do for all of these months."
She stared into his eyes. He couldn't believe what he was hearing - this was like all of his dreams coming true in one day.
. .
..
.
"You mean...," he replied, "I can check my e-mail from here?"
Haryanvi traffic police
रोहतक में एक सिग्नल पर एक महिला की कार ग्रीन सिग्नल होने पर दुबारा स्टार्ट नहीं हुई।
लोग पीछे से होर्न बजाने लगे, सिग्नल
ग्रीन से यलो
तथा
यलो से वापस रैड
हो गया लेकिन कार स्टार्ट नहीं हुई।
लोग चिल्ल पौं मचाने लगे तभी
हरियाणा पुलिस का ट्रैफिक हवलदार रामफल वहाँ आया और उस महिला ड्राइवर से बडी ही विनम्रता पूर्वक बोला :
"मैडम के बात हुई, कोई सा भी कलर पसंद ना आरा के....?"
लोग पीछे से होर्न बजाने लगे, सिग्नल
ग्रीन से यलो
तथा
यलो से वापस रैड
हो गया लेकिन कार स्टार्ट नहीं हुई।
लोग चिल्ल पौं मचाने लगे तभी
हरियाणा पुलिस का ट्रैफिक हवलदार रामफल वहाँ आया और उस महिला ड्राइवर से बडी ही विनम्रता पूर्वक बोला :
"मैडम के बात हुई, कोई सा भी कलर पसंद ना आरा के....?"
Double standards
50 साल के उम्रदराज सलमान को लव यू सलमान....
और अपने से
3-4 साल बड़े लड़कों को अंकल कहने वाली लड़कियों
के लिए नरक में अलग से व्यवस्था होनी
चहिये.....
और अपने से
3-4 साल बड़े लड़कों को अंकल कहने वाली लड़कियों
के लिए नरक में अलग से व्यवस्था होनी
चहिये.....
Don't take panga
चुहिया पेड़ पर चढ़ी, तो बंदर ने पूछा ....... ऊपर क्यों आई हो?
चुहिया........... सेब खाने
बंदर............... यह तो आम का पेड़ है।
चुहिया............. तू ज्यादा चौधरी मत बन, सेब साथ लाई हूं।
Don't take panga with females
चुहिया........... सेब खाने
बंदर............... यह तो आम का पेड़ है।
चुहिया............. तू ज्यादा चौधरी मत बन, सेब साथ लाई हूं।
Don't take panga with females
Delhi Save water
Kejriwal's Next Krantikari Idea
To Save Water
Bath Alternate Days
Gent's : Monday,Wednesday, Friday.
Ladies : Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday.
Kids : Sunday only
To Save Water
Bath Alternate Days
Gent's : Monday,Wednesday, Friday.
Ladies : Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday.
Kids : Sunday only
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