Auction

ब्रेकिंग न्यूज़.. बाबा रामदेव ने
भी अपना सूट नीलाम करने का ऐलान
किया. जी हाँ ये वही लेडीज़ सूट है जिसे
बाबा रामलीला मैदान मे पहनकर भागे थे। :D:mrgreen:

Phone fever

Wife : Suniye.. mujhe aap ka mobile phone dena zara .. !

Husband : deta hoon.. ruko jaaneman !!

Husband jaldi jaldi me mobile phone me ..

Delete videos....
Delete pictures ...
Delete music ...
Delete private folder ..
Delete number ...
Delete SMS ...
Delete outgoing calls ..
Delete incoming calls ...
Delete mms ....
Delete whatsapp ...
Delete bbm ...
Delete ....
Delete ....
Delete ....
Delete ....
Delete ....
Delete ....
Delete ....

FORMAT Memory card !!!

achha ye to batao... karogi kya tum...??

Wife : mujhe time dekhana tha.. kitne baje hai abhi...

Husband : kamini!!
puchh bhi to sakti thi... Gawaar aurat ... !!!😅😜😆☺

Today dose

Who are lizards?
Awesome answer
by a kid....
They are
those poor crocodiles who forgot to have
Horlicks when they were young
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
What is a Pizza..?
Awesome answer:
A Pizza.. is just a Paratha that went
abroad
for higher education !
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
What is the similarity between Media And
Wife ?
Jab tak ek hi baat 100 baar na bata de,
dono ke dil ko sukoon hi nahi milta...:mrgreen:
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
What's the best example of "once in a
lifetime opportunity?
A mosquito sitting on your wife's face.:😛
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
Ladkiyon ki aadhi zindagi husband ki
"Talash" me.. Aur baki aadhi.. Husband ki
"Talaashi" mein guzar jati hai..
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
Aaj ka SUVICHAR ....
💬
"BADAAM khaane se utni
Akkal nahi aati" ...
"Jitni shadi ke bad
Aati hai... "
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
Kashmir aur wife mein kya samanta hai-
Ans. Waise to dono hi samasya hai... par
padosi nazar daale to gussa aata hai... 😝🙏😂😆👌😛

A wife wrote this specially for her husband:
Kabhi kabhi mere dil me
ye khayal aata hai....
Kabhi kabhi mere dil me
ye khayal aata hai....
"Jab tu 11.30pm baje
so jata hai, 
Toh next day morning tera whatsapp last seen at 2.30am
kyu batata hai...?

:mrgreen::mrgreen::D:D😁😁
Sita ji k vanvaas 🌳🌲🌿jane mein bahut badi seekh hai.

Wah wah.👏🙏

Sita ji k vanvaas🍀🍃🌱🍂🌴 jane mein bahut badi seekh 💥💫🌟✨hai.

Ghar me 3-3 saas:evil:😈😤 ho to jungle hi theek hai 😄.

---------------

😄Arz hai-roz roz weight napkar kya karna hai,
ek din to sabne marna hai,
char din ki hai zindagi,
kha lo jee bhar ke,
agle janam to phir 3 kilo se hi start karna hai..😜😜

----------------------
BoY : 😒Ro kyu rhi ho..??

GaL : 😩 Mere Marks bahot kam aaye hai...

BoY : 😒Bata kitne aaye hai..??

GaL : 😫Sirf 88% ..

Boy : :evil: Khuda ka Khauf kr ..
Itne mein to 2 Ladke Pass ho jate hai...!!
===================
Straight Insult :

HUSBAND: Ye kaisa khana bnaya h tumne, bilkul gobar jaisa......?

WIFE : Hey bhagwan is aadmi ne to har cheez chakh rakhi hai...:mrgreen:😄😂😭😭

-------------------
Sabziwala Sabzi Par Paani 💦 Chhidak Raha Tha, kaafi Der ho Gayi .
Customer gusse mein :evil: bola:
Bhaisahab Agar Bhindi ko Hosh Aa Gaya ho to Ek kilo de do.....😜😝😂😂
✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌
Wife : Agar meri shadi kisi " Rakshas" se bhi ho jati to mai itni Pareshan nhi hoti jitni tumare sath hu

Awesome reply :

Husband : pagli
Blood Relation me shadiya kaha hoti hai.. !!
😛😛
.:DKEEP SMILING.:D..

Pathan love

पठान अपनी बेगम की कब्र  पर हाथो से पंखा चला के रो रहा था..

किसी ने कहा : इतनी मोहब्बत, या अल्लाह...

पठान बोला : बेगम कह गई थीं,
मेरी कब्र की मिट्टी सूखने के बाद ही दूसरा निक़ाह करना...

पता नहीं कौन साला रोज 2 बाल्टी पानी डाल जाता है..?
😁😁😝😝😝😆😆😆😆

Examiner vs Kid

In a Biology Practical Exam, the Examiner showed the legs of a bird and asked : What is the bird's name ?

Sardar : I dont know.

Examiner : You have failed.
What is your name ?

Sardar : You see my legs and tell me.

When some one insult some one else code

Triggered while reading my software engineering textbook

This right here is why my team can't have nice things.

Best 404 Error

Product Expired :-(

[embed]https://twitter.com/DesignUXUI/status/560840264067993600/photo/1[/embed]

I was trying to program today. My Brain had other ideas.

Being resourced to help on someone else's projects for a day

Ideal == 0

Step 2

Sexist Imbecile

Trying to find a perfect name for a function

[embed]http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/tmhnks.gif[/embed]

We are guilty thinking like that

Top Answers of a Teacher

Wait ...

[embed]https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-dxQ412DpTI0/VOQybDG-AoI/AAAAAAAAgPM/47bJyA1VSU4/w426-h239/The%2BSausage%2BTreat%2BThief.gif[/embed]

Dancing parrot

Hard Works Never Killed

Yup.. It makes Sense Now

Quite a Man

Why does buffering always have to happen at the worst times?

Man Chances

Cool Cat, Seriously

Software also having Attitude

You've done one of these for Sure.

Delhi special

ये मेसेज दिल्ली के पड़पडगंज से आया है एक
आदमी सुबह जैसे ही नहाने गया
नल के अन्दर से पहले 700 लीटर
पानी आया फिर फुस्स फुस्स की आवाज के
साथ 2 बाल्टी वाई- फाई से भर गई,
आदमी डर के पीछे हट गया की अब कही नल से
बिजली न आ जाए
इस चमत्कार से प्रभावित होकर उसने
केजरीवाल के नाम से 50 पर्चे छपवा कर बांटे
तो उसके नोकिया 1100 मोबाइल में भी wifi
के सिग्नल पकड़ने लगे....
एक औरत ने 200 पर्चे छपवाये तो बेसिक फोन में ट्विटर और व्हाट्सअप चलने लगा
एक व्यापारी ने इसे झूठ समझ कर पर्चे को फाड़ दिया तो उसके घर में ही रोमिंग लगने लगी
जिसे भी ये मेसेज मिले वो 24 घंटों के अंदर पर्चे छपवाकर बांटे या नेट से मेसेज फैलाये।
तुरंत फायदा मिलेगा।😂😂😂😂😄

Friendz

किसी ने मुझसे पूँछा-तुम अपने दोस्तों को इतने मेसेज क्यों करते हो ?

मैंने मुस्करा कर जवाब दिया _
"इन गरीबो का मेरे सिवा है ही कौन? 😆😆😆😆✋