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Saturday, 19 September 2015

Feeling proud

संता: बता खुद पर सबसे ज्यादा गर्व कब होता है?

बंता - जब परीक्षा हॉल में कुछ आता न हो, और पीछे से टीचर आकर कहे, कॉपी छुपा लो, पीछे वाला देख रहा है. कसम से सीना चौड़ा हो जाता है।

Best medicine in common cold

कई सालों की रिसर्च के बाद,

तमाम दुनिया के डॉक्टर,

इस नतीजे पर पहुंचे हैं कि

जुकाम के लिए सबसे बेहतरीन चीज़ -







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रूमाल है !!!

Lavarish phone

गर्लफ्रेंड - मेरे पापा ने मुझे नया मोबाइल खरीद कर दिया ...

बॉयफ्रेंड - अरे वा ह ...कौन सी कंपनी का ??


गर्लफ्रेंड - लावारिस !!!


लड़का बेहोस होते होते बचा ...

और बोला........अरे अक्ल की अंधी वो लावारिस नहीं

lava iris hai .....

Doctor's life

Hilarious and sometimes embarrassing moments in a doctor's practice. Hope you will love them as I enjoyed reading!

1. A man comes into the ER and yells. . ......
'My wife's going to have her baby in the cab.'
I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress
and began to take off her underwear.
Suddenly I noticed that there
were several cabs - - - and I was in the wrong one.

Submitted by Dr Mark MacDonald,
San Francisco

2.
At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and
slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.
'Big breaths,'. .
I instructed. 'Yes, they used to be,'. . . replied the patient.
Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes,
Seattle , WA

3.
One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that
her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.
Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that
he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg

4.
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, 'How
long have you been bedridden?'
After a look of complete confusion she answered . . . '
Why, not for about
twenty years - when my husband was
alive.
Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson-
Corvallis , OR



5.
A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of
tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered..... It was quickly
determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was
scheduled for immediate surgery... When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green and above it there was a tattoo that read .' Keep off the grass.'

Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said 'Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn.'

Submitted by RN JAMESON

AND
FINALLY!! ! .. . .. . . . . . . . . . . THE FUNNIEST?

Baby's First Doctor Visit

This made me laugh out loud.
I hope it will give you a smile!

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

'Breast-fed,' she replied...

'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered.
She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a
very professional and detailed examination.

Motioning to her to get dressed,
the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.'

'I know,' she said, 'I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came.'

Realistic painter

Santa's son is a very great realistic painter....

He painted a perfect Rs. 100 note on the floor of the classroom; his teacher breaks her nails trying to pick it up, and calls his father.

At the phone, she complains about the kid and explains what has happened.
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The father from the hospital ICU replied :
"You got lucky...!
At home, this mother fucker drew a VAGINA on the POWER SOCKET."

Feels good

A man comes home from work one day and he says to his wife, "Honey, I got a new secretary, and imagine what happened! She's got a red and white bra. You know, these are the colors of my favorite football team. Anyway, it's not a big deal but it feels good."

The next day when they come home his wife asks, "How was your day?" The man say, "Fantastic! It's not only her bra that is red and white but also her panties. You know it's not a big deal but it really feels good!"

The third day they meet at home after work and now the man asks his wife, "And what happened today in your office, honey?"

She says, "Oh, nothing special, sweetheart. I got a new boss today. His dick is two inches longer than yours. You know it's not a big deal but, hell, it feels good!"

Whatsapp

अध्यापक लड़के से : नालायक क्लास में दिनभर लड़कियों के साथ
इतनी बातें क्यों करते हो..
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लड़का : सर , मैं गरीब हूं ! मेरे मोबाइल में व्हाटसप
नहीं हैं..